Dear readers,
This morning, music from the seasonal film, The Snowman, was playing as the students arrived. A topically melodious beginning to a lesson in which we would continue working through a version of the ‘theft of a snowman‘ lesson I’d prepared 2 years ago, I thought.
But, the first student, perhaps taking advantage of the fact that the others hadn’t yet arrived, made the following request…
Mike, please don’t pair me with [other student's name].
She is not respectful…
My student then continued to tell me of how she had been met with ridicule from this other student at not being able to complete a task in a lesson earlier this week.
I happen to agree with her comment, in that this student is quite confrontational, easily riled, and very blunt which often translates as being quite rude.
Have you ever been met with a similar request due to differences between your students? Any advice on managing this would be greatly appreciated.
Yours,
Challenged teacher of London
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That’s an unfortunate thing to turn up in your classroom on a Thursday morning, isn’t it? You’ve got a nice lesson idea in mind, and then suddenly you’ve got a whole other issue to deal with.
Firstly, you should be pleased that your student felt confident enough to tell you. It shows that she trusts you. Secondly, it sounds like she’s completely within her rights to make this request. I don’t see that you’ve got much choice. But does it have to be big deal? I think you could make different pairs for different activities, and keep changing people around. It might not be exactly how you would want it, but it’s surely preferable to making a big deal out of it?
One thing’s for sure, I am very confident you’ll find the right balance and solution to the problem. Make sure you tell us what you do!
Yes, it is very important to keep an eye on the pairs in your class and to vary them. The kinder students often get left with the weaker ones or the less popular students which is fine for a while but can become very wearing.
I personally would also have a quiet word with the confrontational student, saying that you have noticed some rudeness and asking them to try and change behaviour. Make clear that you have noticed the behaviour and leave the other student out of it!
Teaching is as much about group psychology as it is about grammar….
As James said, there isn’t much choice really. Ignoring the request would obviously cause all sorts of problems and trying to get them together could also open a proverbial can of worms.
I think I would respect the students’ request and keep an eye on the other student and their general interactions with the class, perhaps having a quiet word with them later if necessary.
Hello Mike,
I’ve found myself in similar situations, with YLs, teens as well as…‘adult bullies’. My groups are quite small (7 sts on average) so from time to time I arrange for some face to face meetings with each one and try to determine (among other things) whether they have formed certain cliques or preferences for some of their classmates and as Joan said try to change pairs and alter the group dynamics as often as possible.
Another thing with most classes here is that they are very ‘exam oriented’ so I tell them that they have to get used to interacting with various types of students as they never know who they’re going to be paired up with in the exam they’re interested in and they have to be supportive of their partner as it will affect the quality of the ‘interaction part’ of their oral exam session. Regardless of exams, though, the argument still remains that they will have to interact with all kinds of strong/weak language users ‘out there’ so they shouldn’t be judgemental. I’m all for a proactive approach.
Let us know how it went.
Hi Mike.
I make it a rule in my classes that everyone has to change seats every couple of days so that they have the chance to work with different students. They are usually fine with it, and it means you can monitor any awkward moments and difficult students.
Hi Mike, it happened to me this week. Not for the same reason. An Italian student asked me not to be paired with Korean students, as “they have nothing to say and I don’t et any speaking practice out of them”. I totally understand her, she is very confrontational and wants a good “opponent” in pair discussions, and it is not a very Korean thing to do to disagree openly with someone you don’t know very well. I addressed the issue as a whole lass without mentioning names or specific situations. I told them pair work is for practice and I establishe some sort of “disagreement” rule, or the rule of hte YES BUT…
When it comes to being rude and disrespectful, I think you should do the same, without mentioning names. Your students will know what and who you are talking about, but I think they should know that you know what is going on.
You should explain why you think that kind of behaviour is not acceptable. They are there to learn. Talking to adults about behaviour is hard, they are not kiddies, but if it is done quickly and without too much “preaching”, I think they shoudl get the message…
Another comment I would like to add. My students go through tutorials every 5 weeks. I have been at this school for 3 months now and I’ve done 3 tutorials with about 45 students. About half of them complain there is too much pairwork… All of them said they would like to do more activities as a whole class… Maybe what we were taught about pairwork sounds good only to ESL teachers…?
Good luck.!
Hi Mike!
If I were you, I’d respect your students’ request and try to make that ‘rude’ student with a more easy-going one so that they would not be affected and the class would go smoothly.
It has happened to me that at the start of a new year a small group of girls who didn’t tolerate another girl asked to be put in a group of their own in which no other student would be accepted.
Good luck!
Marisa