When life gives you lemons, …

The best way to deal with a potentially stressful and draining experience: laugh.

Here is a funny poem (probably those of you who work/have worked in education in the UK will get the most from it).

I first saw it pinned up around the office during my first year in my current job, and found it again here: Let’s have a dig at …

There’s only one f-in OFSTED
But that’s quite enough for us.
But with no f-in lesson plans
There’s one hell of an f-in fuss.

There’s an f-in form to fill in
For everything that’s said.
There’ll be no f-in future
If that fails to please the Head.

Sounds like one f-in photocopier
Has died of overheat.
There’s no f-in chance at all now
To keep the worksheets neat.

There’ll be no f-in inspector
When your lesson is first rate,
And there’s no f-in good excuse
To explain why you’re late.

There should be an f-in handbook
For everything you do.
Tell the R.I. you left it
For light reading in the loo.

There’s no f-in parking space
For half the f-in staff…
Who have the last f-in laff.

There’s no f-in spiritual
Or cultural education.
No f-in equality
But lots in differentiation.

There’s only one F-in OFSTED
With it’s “Education Speak”
Thank God there’s an f-in Friday
To end the OFSTED WEEK.


  1. Very much sympathise, Mike. Had OFSTED under Chris Woodhead (“Nobody expects the Spani….!!!”

    Title of this post reminds me of a book I saw over here in Germany, the title of which translates thus:

    “If life gives you lemons, ask for salt and tequila…”

    Not bad advice 😉

    • Haha! I like that advice, Anthony =)

    • Ha! spot on – got a selection of lemons at the ready.

      • Cheers, Mark, and welcome to the blog.

        Something about Ofsted, isn’t there? I don’t intend to let it get me down.

        Mike =)

  2. Would like to extend my deepest sympathies as well, Mike, athough if it were me, I’d probably make my excuses and plead a long standing arrangement to do a talk at an ELT Conference in Aldastan that week 😉

    Not sure whether you saw this the first time round, but if you didn’t then it might just raise a grin:

    Why Ofsted Inspections Are Like Crufts Dog Shows



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